remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Randomize
