Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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