Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
