Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
It's Friday. Sex?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
