happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
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