your thong is hanging out like whoa
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
