im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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