Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
