Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize