i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
