LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
