Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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