I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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