Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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