If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I pour the whiskey from now on
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