You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
