I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
