Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
And then the night went full on bisexual.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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