im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
