"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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