ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
