I only kidnapped one of them. chill
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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