Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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