Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
