your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Can Purell be used as lube?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Randomize