I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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