I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
