You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
