I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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