This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
