I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
