I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
