Duck Duck Cougar?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
