Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
