youre lurking in front of me
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
