Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
