You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
