I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
