its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
zippers are such a cool invention
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
