Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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