i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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