i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I wish you could order shots online.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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