yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
