I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
