Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
it's like heaven, but drunker
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I think my moral compass just broke
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
