So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
