Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
