i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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