Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
