I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
