Having a random hookup so left but love u
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize