Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I don't deserve a penis
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
A+ Viking dick
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
