Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I need to align my fucking chakras
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