so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
