That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
