dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
