I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
