yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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