Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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