She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
and you fell through a lawn chair
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
