I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
