NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
