1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
