I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Randomize
