Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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