Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i came on her dog
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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